Where is God?

Where is God when everything falls apart around you?
Where is God when a financial crisis leaves you desperate?
Where is God when your spouse is diagnosed with terminal illness?
Where is God when you fail out of college even though you did your best?
Where is God when your brother is a heroin addict?
Where is God when you don’t understand why you cannot stop lusting?
Where is God when you are confused about your gender?
Where is God when you lose your job and your home?
Where is God when you lose your family?
Where is God when your father is beating your mother?
Where is God when you are being abused?
Where is God when a child is trafficked for sex?
Where is God when thousands of children die everyday because of poverry?
Where is God when no matter how much you pray, your spouse dies, you lose everything, you’re still jobless, your brother is still addicted to heroin, you are still battling lust, you are confused about your gender, your family has abandoned you, your mother is still being beaten, you are being beaten, children are still being trafficked for sex and dying everyday because of poverty, and everything in your life has fallen apart?

You read, you pray, you fight against your sin, you play your part in redeeming injustice, you give, you worship, you serve, you love– both God and others. But the question gnawing at your mind persists…

Where… is God?

“Why can’t I feel His presence?
Why won’t He take away my lust? I love my wife and hate that I lust after other women!
Why did He allow me to lose my job? Did He take it from me?
Why is my spouse dying?
Why can’t I figure out what gender I am? I’m dying inside… I don’t know what to do.
Why is my brother killing himself and you’re doing nothing, God?
Why are you watching my mom — your daughter — get beaten nearly to death every night? Why won’t you stop him from hitting her?
How could you let innocent little girls be ravaged sexually by crude old men? Do you not care for them?
And why… God why… do you allow thousands of children to die from poverty when I have seen churches buy buildings that could have fed a country’s worth of children?”

“WHY DO YOU ALLOW ‘YOUR PEOPLE’ TO SPEND MONEY ON BUILDINGS WHEN THOUSANDS DIE DAILY BECAUSE THEY DON’T HAVE ENOUGH MONEY TO EVEN EAT?!?

“Where are you God?”

“I’m right where you left Me.”

“Left you?! No, you left us a long time ago. Why are we still here? All we do is kill each other, take from each other, hurt each other, hate each other. We let our own people die because we want bigger buildings and more money. We beat our wives because we want control. We make our children sex objects. We degrade those who don’t understand their gender identity. We hate each other! Why do you allow this?!?! WHERE ARE YOU?”

“I AM with you, I AM in you, I AM before you, I AM after you, I AM your redeemer, I AM your friend, I AM your brother, I AM your Father, I AM your comfort, I AM your help, I AM  the One you can come to when everyone else leaves you, I AM… but I AM NOT going to take away your freedom, and that will open up the door for really bad things to happen. But, do you want to know something? Because I will not take away your freedom, you can now love like I love. YOU ARE NOT a program, YOU ARE NOT a robot, YOU ARE NOT a subordinate, YOU ARE my child, YOU ARE my friend, YOU ARE my brother, YOU ARE my joy, YOU ARE loved… And… I AM love.”

“I’ve heard that from you before, but you said nothing about them. You said nothing about my mother, my brother, my job, those little girls… Nothing! I am drowning God! I can’t do this anymore!”

“What if I told you that I feel the same that you do? What if I told you that even I weep that my daughters are turned into objects of pleasure for the sick satisfaction of selfish men? Child, right now I am choosing not to cleanse the world of evil. You may not understand why, but one day you will. Let me tell you something…

This way of destruction is not the only way. I AM the way…
Hatred is not the truth, love is. I AM the truth…
This life is not the only life. I AM the life…

One day everything you see will come to an end. There will be no more crying, no more pain, no more sickness, no more sadness, no more death. I will make everything new. And because you have experienced what you have, you will see what joy comes from living in love… And so will all who come to me..”

“Stop beating around the bush! What about right now God?!”

“Right now… You came to Me. You asked me where I was… and I AM here, right where you left me. This is what I AM, love, relationship, friendship. Everything happening around you led you to Me. And that is what I want. I want everyone to come to Me. I want to comfort them as they go through pain. I want to talk with them and they with me. I want to show them the way to love, the truth of love, and the eternal life of love. I AM love and I WILL bring an end to every pain this world has suffered through.

I AM God. I AM love. Come to Me… I know that you are weary…”